Tolerance is a prerequisite to understand each other

Thảo luận trong 'Buddhist News'

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  1. admin

    admin Administrator Staff Member

    Normally everyone thinks, communication is right to accept his enemy that we must forget the sympathy, understanding the real requirements of the other people with him.

    For example, when someone wants to communicate with others, he or she says "I have pretended to be you to think for you, so you have to accept my requests," and then asks, "do you find difficult to accept it?" If the listener feels hard to accept, the speaker continues "It is simple that you just need to follow my suggestions and all difficulties will be solved smoothly".

    It is considered that this is a one-way communication, which is not to understand each other. Communication really requires speakers to find out what difficulties listeners have and what help they need, then speakers try best to help listeners and they should not only make others follow their views.

    While studying in Japan, I discovered that in any shop, all staffs asked, "Excuse me! What can I help you?" In communication that we should get to know each other is a must. When helping others, speakers should not make listeners just follow their advice. For instance, when celebrating a party we do not often ask our guests about their taste of food and we serve any food as soon as their guests sit down, which makes them fall into a dilemma. The Western people do not do such things. Once some friends visited my house, I served them food. They were extremely happy and asked: "Why do you know I like it?" From that time, before picking food for anyone, I always ask her or his taste.

    Since then, we can draw a principle for communication "Let the listeners show their thinking and needs first, then let them know what we can do for help, which is a successful communication."
    Communication is a process of exchanging and understanding between both sides. If it just comes from one side, it would not be a good communication. In Buddhism, there is a method to approach people called Catuhsamgraha-vastu (four all embracing virtues), which consists of Samanarthala (cooperation with others, Dana (Giving what other likes), Arthakrtya (conduc profitable to others), and Priyavacana (affectionate speech). These are four important methods in approaching to convert everyone.

    When a Buddhist wants to approach, convert people, he or she absolutely does not force others to learn and follow Buddhism but lets them understand and accept first. To convert people, it is important that you first have to accept them.

    According to Buddhism, Buddhists or people who practice the behavior of Bodhisattva can not depart from beings to lead a religious life. Since the first prayer of a person practicing the behavior of Bodhisattva is "Vowing to protect immense beings. Departing from people to pray for protection is not realistic so that serving others and opening your hearts to accept all of their faults and to help them solve their problem first, then they may open their hearts to accept leaning the Dharma.

    It is really wrong to tell people "the Dharma is mysterious, so everyone must believe and have to follow". If so, you are demonstrating authority power but not converting people. Just take the Dharma to inspire, inspire their conscience and awaken love in people and should not use the Dharma as a tool to teach others.

    Bodhisattvas always come with people by normal condition, immerse in normal life, and even lower themselves to let people feel respected; which may bring Dharma to people. Likewise, when communicating with others, you need to humble yourself to others first, give them respect. First you must accept and admit them, so they may do the same thing and communicate with you.
    Translated into English by Tinh tam

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